I’ve been thinking a lot about both of these words lately. Zig Ziglar said that FEAR is “False Evidence that Appears Real”. I get that. Fear is usually something that we’re afraid might happen. I think about all the sales people that we work with and how challenging it is to muster up the courage to walk into a building or into a networking event where you know no one. That sales person has to overcome the fear of feeling like they might not fit in, wondering if the door will be slammed in their face, rejection, and anything else that might pop into their mind.
See that’s how fear works. Stuff that isn’t real for this moment pops into your mind and all of a sudden there is fear. I know more about this lately than ever in my life. On April 22nd a lump suddenly formed on my husband’s neck and we (I) began the “fear filled” journey that has resulted in a lymphoma diagnosis. I can tell you first hand that holding those fearful thoughts at bay is no easy job.
I’ve gained a lot of real clarity that the fearful thoughts have a basis in negativity. I think this is true in any situation. Fear means that you’ve allowed you mind to go to that place that is wrapped in, “what if I don’t get that sale, maybe they will laugh at my idea or think I’m stupid.” Just look at how you can feel in an instant and none of those thoughts are based on any type of reality. It doesn’t matter if you were rejected before; the reality is that what’s in front of you right now, today, is a brand new situation and the possibility of a brand new outcome. But the fear can keep you from knocking on the door. Listen, I was scared to death of the thought of my husband’s chemotherapy. I had many fearful thoughts until we went for the first treatment and they said that he had to wait on insurance. In an instant the fear of chemo was trumped by the great fear of what will absolutely happen if he doesn’t get chemo.
My husband is really GREAT at not dealing with things in a fearful way. I hope I can be like him when I grow up. He doesn’t worry, he does not make up stories that are steeped in negativity. He’s clear that he would like to live for a long time and so we do the things that we need to do (difficult or not) in order to get the results we want to achieve. He’s pragmatic and optimistic!
It strikes me that faith is really the true opposite of fear. Like fear, it is intangible, belief in things that you can’t touch or feel in reality. Unlike fear though, having faith in yourself, in others, or in a higher power, casts a situation in a more positive light, and that affects how you feel and behave in a much better way.
I have been thinking a lot about this lately. If you could, for just a minute, imagine how it might feel to lose the person you love the most. For me, my shoulders immediately sag, all the air goes out of my lungs, tears come to my eyes; and I think I can feel my heart stop. And nothing has happened. JD is asleep in the other room. This kind of fearful thinking creates all of that physical and emotional reaction in a second. CLICK HERE
Does the thought of a sales call that “might” have a bad outcome fill you with immediate symptoms of fear? Think about how that might impact your ability to do what you want to do in order to be successful.
Now take a minute and rehearse in your mind what an awesome outcome would look like. You are walking into the decision maker’s office, your shoulders are back, your head is high, you have a ton of faith in what you are able to provide to this new prospect. Think you could get a better result? Of course you could.
It matters what you think about and how you choose to live. For me, I pick faith. I’ve always thought I was a very positive person. In the last 7 weeks I’ve learned that I have much more to learn about staying positive. Fear lurks around and can show up in the oddest places. I encourage you to have conversations and deal with people who are interested in talking about how good things can be. There is always a choice in how to think, act, and believe. Since fear is wrapped in all that is negative and faith gives us hope for all that is positive, the choice is easy for me.
I hope you’ll face this next week full of faith in yourself, your business, your family, and even a little faith in others that might be able to help you.
If you are coming to Bowl Expo, I look forward to seeing you. If not, I am going to have faith that I’ll see you sometime soon!
Much love,
Beth
