The Everyday Choice

The Everyday Choice

It probably sounds cliche…

however it’s been on my mind, every day in every way that I have to be intentional about my choices. How about you? Have you been thinking positively or negatively? Maybe you’re like me on some days and try not to think at all. Have you spent a normal or an abnormal time on social media and/or the news? I’m not sure how to define normal or abnormal so your own perception of normal or abnormal for you works in this question!

I ask, because I believe thinking, directly impacts your feelings, and the way you feel about something ultimately influences what you do. The thought comes first, the way you feel about the thought then drives behavior.

We must protect our thoughts…

We can choose the negative, scary, painful, path. Sometimes that path pops up with no warning at all. The challenge then becomes whether or not you go down that road or decide, what else could be true. Can I take the next fork in the road and follow a more positive or hopeful path?

What helps me-The 3rd or 4th option…

when I get stuck in being overly negative or positive is to practice thinking of at least 3 ways something could be. 2 choices is nothing more than an ultimatum. The stark choice of this or that shrinks a person’s ability to be creative or hopeful and is often paralyzing. I’m certain in that last several weeks the thought of, how am I going to make it or if this doesn’t happen or I’m going to fail, may have come to mind. Look, at these 2 choices-I’m going to fail or succeed. Really? Is that all their is? What could choice number 3 be? If you can’t think of something then go ask someone else. It’s too easy to get stuck in your own head.

When I Fail-I choose to Fall Forward…

In prepping this article I started researching the science of positive thinking. I thought it would be easier for you to buy into my rah rah newsletter today if I included real science. There’s an entire psychological study dedicated to the power of positive thinking. The very BEST business book I’ve read on the subject (and it includes the science) is written by Shirzad Chamine – Positive Intelligence. I don’t think there’s been a better time to read or listen to this book.
Finally for those of you who need something shorter than a book and potentially a video to go with it, you must take 10 minutes a listen to Denzel Washington’s presentation to a graduating class. He asks, “Do you have the guts to fail?”

Personal Message to You…

I am so inspired by every business owner in today’s climate. The sheer GUTS you have to do all that must be done right now is nothing short or real bravery. To the team members who’ve had to wade through all the uncertainty of reduced hours, unemployment, is it safe to be around other people and more-you are incredible. I know so many people who have volunteered to work, help, not work, support others in any way they can. I believe this is an extraordinary time where the unintended outcomes are that we are a better world, a better people, and a better place, whether at home, work, church, or school, where we are truly in service to others.

What “They” Don’t Tell You – Part 2

What “They” Don’t Tell You – Part 2

Krista Trietley-EstesKrista comes to TrainerTainment with a world of experience. She grew up in the family entertainment industry, worked most positions in the center, went off to college, and spent her early career developing and delivering training in the corporate world. She is an Arbonne entrepreneur and an enthusiastic sales representative for TrainerTainment. We are lucky to have her experience, insight, and commitment to others growth. I know you’ll enjoy this two-part series.

Plot Twist

Don’t you love those? If you remember part one from last week, you’ll know I’m sharing the story of my ideal internship during my final year of college – lake views and shopping all day with image consultant extraordinaire Linda Thomas!

Day one. Walk in. Sit down. Super excited. Huge smile on my face. I ask, “When is our first shopping client?” Linda replied, “Today and I really want you to pay attention and see how you like it. Really think through how the day goes and we will talk about how you feel afterward, okay?”

In my head I was thinking, “Of course I am going to love this. I was born to do this. I am going to knock your socks off!”  I’m sure I was about to squeal with delight and excitement.

The Appointment

It’s 10am and we are headed to one of my favorite department stores in one of my favorite areas of Dallas. I felt so important. All the employees knew Linda. We got to go in the back where all the stylists went. We even had stylists there to assist if needed. This was a very important client.

As the day progresses, I remember Linda’s words. I was to “pay attention to how I felt during the appointment and see how it goes.” What I notice is two hours had passed and the client hadn’t selected anything we chose for her. I also notice the client isn’t particularly pleasant. I fight the negative feelings that were creeping in. Maybe she’s having a rough day. I’m hopeful the next few hours will be more exciting.

Those hours pass slowly as we add three shoe people and two additional stylists to the mix to try to make the client happy. The dressing room looks like we pulled the entire department store in it and flipped it on its head. I’m feeling exhausted, not empowered, and the morning’s enthusiasm is waning.

Realism Meets Enthusiasm

The client left with one dress and one blouse. Eight hours for a dress and a blouse that I’m not sure she even really liked. I wanted to change lives with clothing. I wanted to show people what great looks like. I wanted to work with people who were open to learning and who wanted and needed help. This appointment was not that! My mind was racing. What did I get myself into? How will I possibly be able to do another 392 hours of this? I remember wondering if this was really what I want to do with my life. Uh-oh. I have no other path. OMG!

Panic

As we get into the car, Linda asks, “So, tell me. How do you think that went?”  It’s my first day. I can’t show her my crazy! I reply, “It was an experience.”  “An experience,” she says. “Tell me more.”

So, I just let her in. I tell her exactly what was going on in my head. At this point, I’m thinking she isn’t going to want to ride with crazy all the way back to Lake Dallas. Since Lyft wasn’t a thing in 2009, I figured I might have to walk back or call my husband for a ride. Plus, now I’ll have to find another internship. How could I spend 392 more hours in that kind of misery?

After I get it all out, Linda smiled and said. “Great. I am really glad those are your thoughts.” To say I was stunned at her response would be an understatement. She then said, “Trips like these are rare in my business and I, like you, want to inspire people. I want to work with people who are open to learning. I want to help them learn about the messages they send with their clothes. I want to teach people what to wear and how to wear it. How to create a positive impression from the time a person walks into a room. That is what I really do. I am a speaker. I speak to groups all over, some small and some large, and that is also what I want you to do. Your first gig is in three days. Don’t worry. You can do this. I’ll be with you every step of the way. We will speak together on the four generations in the workplace. You will be the Gen Y because that is who you are and I am a Baby Boomer. You’ll need to study over the next couple of days. I have the bullet points for you to cover and I know you will be amazing. I wouldn’t have hired you if I didn’t think you could do it.”

I am pretty sure my eyes were really big. I had never done true public speaking, but I had no other choice. I wanted to learn from her, I trusted her, and I decided I was in this thing. This was my summer internship. I could do it.

The Moment of Truth

Thursday came. I had studied hard. This was the first of many presentations I did with Linda over the course of my internship. She hired me in the fall of 2009 and we continued our joint seminars through 2010 until I graduated and landed my dream corporate job as a trainer with a large retailer.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Many of my friends who chose 400 hour internships in New York, LA, and downtown Dallas didn’t land dream jobs. I say this not to impress you, but rather to impress upon you how important it is to appreciate your current season. You never know what the next season may hold.

The Moral of the Story

“They” (those on the outside who tell you to go to college), should also be telling you about hands on training. Working side by side with someone makes all the difference.

An internship with any job can be one of the most valuable things you do for not only your career but for yourself. The time I spent with Linda, every time, was mentorship and real-life experience. There’s no amount of money or time that could match the value of those 400 hours. I would have worked 10,000 hours for free with her. Being trained by the expert on the thing you want to do is very valuable.

Once you get that training, pay it forward. Find someone to train who is open, wants to grow and learn, and works hard. If I hadn’t had the mentorship of someone who would stand side by side with me, show me the way, believe in me, take me through a fail experience, and then show me a win experience, I doubt I would be here today working for TrainerTainment.

That 400 hour internship changed the trajectory of my life. When I came back to school the next semester, I was a totally different person. I had a tough professor and even she asked, “What happened to you?” I was so different others noticed.

Linda believed in me at a level I had not experienced before. I had someone other than my parents telling me I was great. Linda helped me believe I could do more and be more than I thought. She helped me out of the goodness of her heart. She was always ready to share the spotlight not just with me, but with everyone. I will continue her legacy.

I encourage you to visualize your dream job. Work with someone already in that job. Take others with you. Decide that whether not a leader has your back, your peers are

What “They” Don’t Tell You – Part 1

What “They” Don’t Tell You – Part 1

Krista Trietley-EstesKrista comes to TrainerTainment with a world of experience. She grew up in the family entertainment industry, worked most positions in the center, went off to college, and spent her early career developing and delivering training in the corporate world. She is an Arbonne entrepreneur and an enthusiastic sales representative for TrainerTainment. We are lucky to have her experience, insight, and commitment to others growth. I know you’ll enjoy this two-part series.

Go to college, they say

Get your basics, pick a major, change your major a couple of times, and when you graduate, get your first real job. What they don’t tell you is that it’s quite likely that when you graduate from college, your first job will not be the dream job you thought the degree was going to bring.

I’m more than a decade beyond college and now know most people will not get their dream job. You must work your way up the ladder. Not every leader is going to have your back. Not every ladder will be worth the climb. Not every encounter with peers is going to be pleasant. But, if you can stick it out and remember where you want to go, it is possible to get to where you want to be.

A 400 Hour Internship

In college, we were required to do a 400 hour internship. I was in a Fashion program and many of my friends were dashing off to New York and LA or working in downtown Dallas. Many of them were getting paid for their internship.

I spent the summer of 2009 in the heart of Lake Dallas. Google it. You’ll find a small town, with a population of maybe 700 people and one stop light. If you blink, you miss the entire place. I was in the heart of Lake Dallas and my heart is there still.

From a young age, I was taught to find something you love to do and figure out a way to make a living doing it. Mom and Dad said you’ll never have to work a day of your life when you love what you do.

I Love Shopping!

I loved shopping. I loved dressing people. I truly have a gift for this type of thing, and I decided I would love being an image consultant. My plan for internship was to find a local image consultant who would take me on as their intern and teach me the tools of the trade. One problem. Finding image consultants who were local was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Finally, I found a consultant in LA who referred me a local – Linda Thomas.

When I found out Linda was in Lake Dallas, I was completely inspired. I had wonderful romanticized ideas of working in an office overlooking a lake after shopping all day long with our amazing clients. I quickly picked up the phone to call her.

The Call

Ring. Ring. Ring. No answer. I left a message.

“Hello, this is Krista Estes, I calling to talk with you about the possibility of being a free intern for you over the summer. If you could give me a call back, I would really appreciate it.”

When Linda’s husband Carl tells this story today, he says the “free” part is what hooked him. Linda says it was my eye contact at our first meeting. We all have different things that hook us, I guess. Whichever it was, the word “free” or my spot-on eye contact, I got the internship. I was on my way to lake views and shopping.

Stay tuned for the rest of the story…And call or email me right away to help you grow, using our training and coaching programs. And if you want a little advice on your next outfit, I’m up for that as well!

Today’s Excellence is Tomorrow’s Mediocrity

Today’s Excellence is Tomorrow’s Mediocrity

The risk of refusing to grow!

What a quote! I love this guy Rick Houcek who writes a 2-minute Monday morning motivator. It’s easy. in that, it takes about 2 minutes to read, and I almost always get a ton out of what he puts out. The title of my article today is a direct quote from his 2/25/20 newsletter and I felt like I just had to share my thoughts. I’d love to hear what you think.

In my mind GROWTH is necessary!

I think there are many ways to intentionally focus on growth. First and foremost is PRIORITIZATION. For me, I have a morning ritual of reading. Honestly, I look forward to getting out of bed and into the words of the day. Once I get set, I go for a walk. Sometimes on the treadmill, sometimes outside. I listen to Audible when I walk. I just finished, Never Split the Difference. It is a GREAT read.

RITUAL/HABIT

This morning ritual is a very important set up for the day. If missed for any reason, it takes a toll. My stress level increases and productivity for the day decreases. It may seem counterintuitive to add something to the schedule and subtract the stress, but it is the way it works for me. Yes, I must get up early and it’s worth it.

GAIN KNOWLEDGE

Reading is not the only way to gain knowledge. Candi, our director of training, is an avid podcast listener. Amy, who has trained for us, reads a ton of blogs every week. Mary, our director of operations, loves THE PHYSICAL BOOK and reads with a highlighter in hand! Talking with others, listening to the many, and curiosity about everything is a voracious way to feed your growth.

BALANCE

I do believe there is a balance between not thinking your good enough and always pursuing excellence. It is important to take time and celebrate the wins. However, there is a danger of basking in the glow of today and not continuing to seek improvement for tomorrow. The warp speed of change today is sure to transform today’s excellence into yesterday’s old news.

DECIDE

No one jumps out of bed and shouts, “I hope I’m mediocre today!”. In the same thought though, maybe few jump up thinking “I’m going to seek excellence today!” I’d love to encourage you to decide to jump out of bed with intention. Be present today. Be excellent today. Learn something. Share something with someone. Smile. Make someone else’s day.

I’d love to hear what you think would make today an excellent day for you.

Culture is Defined by Design or Default

Culture is Defined by Design or Default

I just finished a terrific re-read by Dr. Marilee G. Adams. She’s authored a book titled, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. There were many things that caught my attention as I listened to words penned by Dr. Adams. However, the title of this article today made me take particular note. I’ve always understood in a headway that the culture at a center is there, whether it’s stated or not. Adams says it perfectly and in a way that gets it out of my head and, hopefully, into your heart. “Culture is defined by design or default.”

Culture is about what you believe in… at your core. We like to say it’s built from what you value. When we help companies in our business coaching program, the first thing we do is work on understanding what the core values of an organization really are. We don’t subscribe to the corporatey, jargony, mumbo-jumbo that mission statements can be made of, but rather the “real” stuff that drives you and your organization – the stuff people remember and hold on to when they make decisions about what to do in the moment.

Add that to your purpose, your why of being, and you have your culture. You don’t have to try to do culture. It’s built-in. It’s part of the fabric that makes you, your business, your job, your family, your relationships, the way they are. Here’s an example. If, at your core, you have a value that says, “I don’t steal things,” then you never steal things. You don’t have to try not to steal. Maybe you call that honesty. I honestly think honesty should be a RULE of the GAME. It is one of those values that may not need to be stated but assumed.

At TrainerTainment, we coach clients on a daily basis. Coaching is a lot like selling. Session by session we are working on buy-in from the team. We are teaching “plays” that help leaders and salespeople win. We are providing practice and new strategies that strengthen the team.

Here’s what I mean. We have designed or adopted selling and business systems we believe. We believe so strongly in those systems because we live them every day. We see the successes internally with our own team and externally with the teams we serve. So, of course, when we are looking for people to work with, we primarily focus on clients that share our core values.

I’ve been in business for almost 15 years. Certainly, there were years, many years, we had a “default culture.” It was not stated. I was not able to get it out of my head. As the business owner, my ego and pride make me feel like that “default culture” wasn’t so bad.

In the spirit of vulnerability, I’ll tell you having a culture that is truly designed, defined, stated, and the filter for everything from hiring and training to firing is a much better, more confident way to run the business. Oh, and it helps us experience a heck of a lot more success both for us and those we serve.

You have a culture at your center and in your life. What is it? If you are not getting what you want from your business, then my question would be, “Why not?” If you are on track, do you know why? Does your team understand your vision or have you stumbled your way into victory because you have a great team that is lined up with your values by default? What happens when those team members move on?

If you’ve ever worked on a team or been part of a winning project that seemed like so much fun you could work all the time, then you were part of a culture where the people on the team shared one another’s values…stated or not.

Wouldn’t it be great to design on purpose that winning experience – all the time? I know it sounds like a sales pitch, but I would love to help you with this. It’s an amazing shift for your thinking and your quality of life. If you believe in having fun, being in service to others, intentionally learning, high performance, and taking initiative, we would be in a good position to work with one another. At TrainerTainment, we are pretty obsessed with helping teams grow because we know healthy teams grow their business. If you believe we can help you, schedule a growth call.

Untapped Potential

Untapped Potential

teammemberimageBeth’s note: Robin Marshall joined the TrainerTainment coaching team early in 2019. Her spirit is inspiring. Patrick L, in The Ideal Team player, talks about looking for people who are hungry, humble, and smart. Robin exudes these qualities as you can see by her blog below.

We have a very exciting opportunity, in that, Robin attained John Maxwell leadership certification this year which gives us the opportunity to offer some very exciting leadership training during the New Year.

I often wondered if I’m realizing my full potential. I “do” many things. However, I sometimes question my confidence in my real capability. Most of the time I think I can do anything if I just try hard enough. I’m a good learner, and I believe I can make things happen. What I have discovered, though, is I don’t know if I’m recognizing my own untapped potential. I don’t know if I’m looking at my desires and my potential or if I’m only committed to doing things that are asked of me.

In the past, I had the experience of working at a dream job where I was using a lot of my strengths. It didn’t feel like work at all. In my dream job situation, it always felt easy, and fun, and I was full of energy and unleashed potential. As time passed though, an opportunity came about and I went for a different position knowing I wouldn’t have to travel as much away from my family. However, several people, including my husband, asked if I thought this was the best fit and if I could do it. I went straight to, “Yes, I can do anything I set my mind to. I just have to learn the job.”

There’s a big difference in what to think about a thing compared to how to think about making these kinds of decisions. The “what” included logic and my past ability to set my mind to something, learn the job, and do it. If I had focused on “how” to think about the situation I might have stepped back and included using the strength of my intuition, laced with the logic of “yes” I can do anything I set my mind to and considered, do I really want to do that job? Would that job really tap into my desired potential? Instead, I put my feet to the grindstone and after 6 months figured “I got this”.

However, I also got a ton of stress. I didn’t feel like I or the business was creating value or realizing the potential of what could be done for the customer. I was always in a panic, and the work felt like a 1000lb weight every day. The day I had an actual panic attack was the day I knew something had to change.

All I could think was, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I do this? Why is everything so heavy? I’ve got this and I should be very well-versed in all these tasks by now. However, once I felt a mistake coming or something went wrong, I panicked and couldn’t move! I wanted to jump out of my skin and hide under the desk. My energy was constantly being drained and I had nothing to offer anyone. There was no room for potential. I was tapped! Then it hit me…it’s hard to see the picture when YOU are in the frame. I needed help.

I reached out to a coach for guidance. She helped open my eyes to a new world. My coach asked great questions and dug in about what I thought was stopping me from growing. She helped me increase my awareness, and discover who I was again. She took the time to process with me and asked the questions that made clear the answers that were already inside. We worked together through the following steps and it helped me know I was not in the right position:

  • Reality – What is really going on? What has stopped me from reaching my full potential?
  • Options – What are my options? What can I do?
  • What else can I do to continue to learn who I am and become who I want to be?

This process was uplifting and over time showed me I could live a purpose-filled life if I chose to. I could now unlock my untapped potential to work with people, be with people, value people, and be a guide to help each person find their own untapped potentials and skill sets.

I got clear that people must be a part of both my professional and personal life. I get my energy from others. I perform well in a crowd and being a coach/trainer/speaker is what I have to offer the world today.

You see, making a difference in the lives of others is where I want to be in order to give all of me. Now that I have made that discovery, I can move forward, step out of my current situation, and seek options that utilize my strengths to help others grow.

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